Redefine the Relationship

What if you stopped following someone else’s rules and started designing a relationship that works for you?

Whether you’re building a new connection, reworking an existing one, or navigating a major transition, this guide will help you break free from expectations and decide what you really want.

In Redefine the Relationship, sex and relationship therapist Yana Tallon-Hicks challenges the idea that there’s one “right” way to be partnered, giving you the tools to figure out what will work best for you—and how to build it. Packed with real-life stories, accessible tools, and helpful exercises, this practical manual will teach you how to:

• Get clear on what you actually want, and assess whether your current relationship is meeting your needs
• Develop essential communication skills for expressing desires, navigating differences, and making agreements
• Set goals and create boundaries that support both connection and autonomy
• Navigate major shifts, including moving from monogamy to non-monogamy (or vice versa)
• Work through trust, jealousy, conflict, and ruptures while creating opportunities for repair
• Approach de-escalation and breakups with intention, care, and respect
• Support your connections as they evolve rather than treating change as a sign that something has gone wrong

No matter what your dynamic looks like, creating a sustainable connection requires clarity about your desires, honest communication, clear agreements, trust, and the ability to navigate inevitable change. Whether you’re monogamous, polyamorous, or somewhere in between, the same essential skills can help you build something healthy, fulfilling, and uniquely yours.