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Simon and Schuster
Before it Breaks
Before it Breaks
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The conversations that could change a relationship are often the ones we have too late.
Most relationships do not break in one dramatic moment. They change quietly first. The conversations become logistical. Repairs are delayed. Resentment starts to feel normal. One person may begin carrying more of the emotional weight. Work, children, screens and responsibility fill the spaces where curiosity and connection used to live. From the outside, everything may still look fine. Inside, something has begun to shift.
Before It Breaks is a modern relationship guide to recognising that shift before crisis.
Drawing on more than a decade working with separating families, as well as her own experiences of love, motherhood, grief, separation and rebuilding, award-winning family lawyer Gabriella Pomare explores the private spaces where relationships begin to change long before anyone says, ‘I think we’re in trouble.’
From silence, emotional distance and invisible imbalance to work spouses, DMs, digital infidelity, exes, parenting pressure, staying for the children and social media, Gabriella examines the relationship problems so many couples dismiss until it is too late. She helps readers distinguish a hard season from a harmful pattern, healthy space from emotional escape, calm from avoidance, and genuine repair from a temporary return to good behaviour.
This is not a book telling readers to stay or leave. It is about helping them notice earlier, ask better questions and have the conversations that are too often postponed until resentment has hardened and distance has become the new normal.
With emotional honesty, practical tools, and deeply relatable insight, Gabriella gives readers language for the quiet moments that shape love: the silence that is not peace, the independence that may be a form of isolation, the emotional labour nobody names, and the repair that has to change the room.
Before It Breaks is for anyone who has ever wondered whether they are simply going through a difficult season or slowly becoming something neither of them intended. It is about clarity, choice and repair, and about recognising what is happening while there is still time to decide what comes next.
Most relationships do not break in one dramatic moment. They change quietly first. The conversations become logistical. Repairs are delayed. Resentment starts to feel normal. One person may begin carrying more of the emotional weight. Work, children, screens and responsibility fill the spaces where curiosity and connection used to live. From the outside, everything may still look fine. Inside, something has begun to shift.
Before It Breaks is a modern relationship guide to recognising that shift before crisis.
Drawing on more than a decade working with separating families, as well as her own experiences of love, motherhood, grief, separation and rebuilding, award-winning family lawyer Gabriella Pomare explores the private spaces where relationships begin to change long before anyone says, ‘I think we’re in trouble.’
From silence, emotional distance and invisible imbalance to work spouses, DMs, digital infidelity, exes, parenting pressure, staying for the children and social media, Gabriella examines the relationship problems so many couples dismiss until it is too late. She helps readers distinguish a hard season from a harmful pattern, healthy space from emotional escape, calm from avoidance, and genuine repair from a temporary return to good behaviour.
This is not a book telling readers to stay or leave. It is about helping them notice earlier, ask better questions and have the conversations that are too often postponed until resentment has hardened and distance has become the new normal.
With emotional honesty, practical tools, and deeply relatable insight, Gabriella gives readers language for the quiet moments that shape love: the silence that is not peace, the independence that may be a form of isolation, the emotional labour nobody names, and the repair that has to change the room.
Before It Breaks is for anyone who has ever wondered whether they are simply going through a difficult season or slowly becoming something neither of them intended. It is about clarity, choice and repair, and about recognising what is happening while there is still time to decide what comes next.
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