How Can I Find Gratitude When I Feel So Resentful?

A practical guide to untangling difficult relationships, letting go of resentment, and ultimately leading a happier life.

Everyday resentments – a sibling who appears to be favored by your parents; a partner who leaves you for another person; a neighbor who won’t deal with their barking dog; a workmate who is promoted ahead of you – can simmer away, robbing us of joy and wreaking havoc on our health, relationships and workplaces. No matter how hard we try to let it go, sometimes it’s impossible to express gratitude toward someone who has wronged us.

Thousands of clinical studies have demonstrated the positive benefits of gratitude to our physical, emotional and social wellbeing. But, according to award-winning gratitude educator Dr Kerry Howells, it’s only when we experience the discomfort of not being able to find gratitude that a path opens for real growth and transformation. While researching the role of gratitude in challenging contexts, and being more aware of the challenges of practising it in her own life, she saw a recurring theme. The hardest thing for most people is to find gratitude in relationships that have caused them pain.

The themes of gratitude and resentment, and the interplay between them, speak powerfully to the dilemmas we are currently facing as individuals and communities. It seems more and more difficult to find gratitude as we navigate tricky relationships in a climate of polarisation and deep social and political divides.

Whether you’re a leader, coach, parent, teacher, people manager, mentor, health professional, or just someone who wants to grow their character and self-efficacy, the practical strategies, tools and insights in this book will change your life. You’ll start to repair difficult relationships, improve your wellbeing and grow your resilience. Ultimately, you’ll be able to move from resentment towards deep gratitude to lead a happier and more fulfilling life.